WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
