I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize