shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
