Porn is love you can see.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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