Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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