Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize