Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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