That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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