He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
