seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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