god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize