is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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