we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
