I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
