he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
