MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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