would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
