Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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