sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
