She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
