Your mouth is God's brothel.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
