roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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