Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
