watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize