We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
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