he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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