The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it's like heaven, but drunker
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
