He is an equal opportunity slut.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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