how can u be prego again
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
