Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He better not be in your backpack
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
