Can i not drive my cunt home
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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