Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize
