Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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