Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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