Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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