Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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