can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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