i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
