I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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