She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
