So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
