After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
