i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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