420 ftw
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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