i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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