Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
