Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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