we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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