shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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