I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
