Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
