Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The adults are the big ones right?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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