did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
