He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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