im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Pooping to opera.
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