I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
