how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
