i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i think i just lost a toe
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
