I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
