Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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